The Power of Focusing on What You Want vs. What You Don’t Want
When I work with clients and ask them what they want, most people start by telling me what they don’t want. They have a hard time articulating their desires, which tells me their focus is on what they don’t want. And guess what? That means they get more of it!
The unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives. So, when we focus on what we don’t want, using phrases like “I don’t want to be sick,” “I don’t want to feel exhausted,” “I don’t want to have an untidy desk,” “I don’t want to be in this job,” or “I don’t want to work so hard,” the unconscious mind simply hears, “I want to be sick,” “I want to feel exhausted,” “I want to have an untidy desk,” “I want to be in this job,” and “I want to work hard.” Consequently, it helps you have more of that because that’s what you’re asking for and focusing on.
What Can You Do About This?
1. Bring Your Thoughts into Awareness
Start noticing your thoughts and whenever you catch yourself focusing on what you don’t want, hold up your hand like a “stop sign.”
2. Reframe in the Positive
Repeat your negative statement three times, but state it positively. For instance, instead of saying “I don’t want to be sick,” say “I want to be healthy.”
3. Practice Regularly
As you gain greater awareness, you’ll catch yourself more often and naturally start talking in the positive over time.
4. Use Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool for habit change. In this state, you get 10,000 times greater focus. Use self-hypnosis or work with a hypnotherapist to shift your focus and give it a massive power boost.